Learn how to do this new treatjob that's taking the nation from behind!
Beware: Not for the faint of heart, for both pictures and text display massive proportion-- as if you could expect any less from your favorite writer-- Apokalyptik.
The 3D Cock Cake.
A Comtemporary Classic, Combining Commonplace Confectionaries with Crude Comicality.
Is it Creamy?
------------------ Of Course!
Is it Colossal?
------------------ Considerably!
Could it be used to Completely Cram every Cavity of my Corporeal Constitution?
------------------ Certainly!
IT'S CAPTIVATING!
This Cock Cake creation is so unreservedly delicious that you will have no choice but dive onto it upon first glance, ravenously filling yourself until you gag, choke and cry out in utter pleasure...
...and then, as you wipe away tears of happiness and the comely icing that used to grace the head of the cake...
You'll ask for more.
But how do I do it?
We'll SHOW you.
First, you will have to begin with the proper form (which can be located in several high-class enterprises in your area) and proper ingredients. Pour your standard cake mixture into the form, and bake appropriately. Remove carefully, as it is at this point of first awakening, the cake is very tempermental and delicate. Place the half-cake in the freezer to allow it to cool down, and harden for use-- while you bake the second half-cake. After which, will also need to go into the freezer.

After both members of this procedure have become appropriately rigid, remove them from the freezer. Now, we will use the comely icing to fasten the two half cakes. During these next steps, this will be your first look at the fully upright, nearly complete cake-- so you may find it very difficult to keep your restraint, so we also offer an additional accessory to help you maintain your Confectionary Chastity--

After fastening the two halves, you should have something that resembles a familiar and beautiful sight--

The next step is to make the cake erect. Be careful, and don't hesitate to use your bare hands-- sliding them back and forth beneath the main shaft of the cake, but slowly. This should allow you to shift into a better position to get it up. If need be, use your chest to coax the cake erect-- as it may be floppy at first, but no worries, you should be able to harden it sufficiently to where it appears to have a mind of it's own.

Now, we can commence with the second application of the icing, forming the exterior. Be careful, and make sure to have a solid and overall coating, allowing the cake the flexiblity it needs.

After that, apply the next coat on the head of the cake-- but gingerly, as this is usually the most sensitive and delicate part of the cake.

Looks delicious, does it not? But don't get started quite yet. There's still more to be done to obtain the perfection necessary for a masterpiece such as this.
But before we get to that, you may choose to spruce up your cake. You will need to consider the person you are giving this to... do they mind lots of icing? Or are they more of the kind of person who likes to trim down the frill? Perhaps they perfer a bald, icingless cake. In this particular case, we decided to go for the classic look. You yourself may choose to add your own personal flair to the cake before the final flourish. We used black icing, but you may choose to use gray-- maybe to give to a mother or father. Perhaps use some Rum Cake mix, and use some Red icing for that favorite step-child of yours. Make it your own. Put some jelly beans along the shaft for your more eccentric friends. Whatever.

After that, the final touch-- A little flourish. A little something to show your friends how much fun and excitement you put into this project.

Feel free to change the final steps up as we did here. Sometimes playing at the bottom first will help the cake better display it's excitement, but we started with so much, our cake finished early.
The Gorgeous Final Product


With a better angle on the final flourish.

The next step is the presentation. Watch as we show the Cock Cake to it's recipient (whether he likes it or not).

As you can see, even though he vainly attempts to contain his arousal for this sweet creation, he fails incredibly.

But now-- he must take part in the Forbiddenly Flavorsome Ritual of the Cock Cake. For to do anything other than take a huge, mouth-filling bite out of the top of the cake is to display extreme disrespect to the makers.

Watch as he teases both the cock cake and us...

BEFORE THE BIG SWALLOW!! DEEP THROAT THAT ************!!! THAT'S RIGHT, YOU LIKE IT!!
*ahem*
My apologies for that outburst. I was overwhelmed by the Cock Cake for a moment there. Back to the Cock Cake-- here we see our victim, now the recipient of a face-full of comely icing.

Now that the Ritual is complete, all may enjoy the wonder of the Cock Cake.

Feast on the Cock Cake all that you wish, my dears, for it was crafted out of the hands of greatness with much love and admiration. Watch as they look on in awe. The awesome power that is the Cock Cake.

...
I'm sorry. I got all choked up.
I just love the Cock Cake so much. I really do. I hope you guys can love it as much as I do...
...The Cock Cake...
*cough*
COCK!
*run away*
~Brought to you by Apokalyptik and Mr-Blister... Brothers of the Cock... Cake.
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